This really is unfinished for many reasons but it works quite well as a demo. I hope to have a version with the lead recorded by a buddy of mine but for reasons beyond his control it is not possible at the moment.

The song has been sat on my harddrive for months so I thought I might as well post it and see what people think of it. It is all pretty rough and ready but I like the lyric for the most part and the song captures the vibe I was going for.

As usual incredibly poignant moving lyrics and a clear distinct Vocal delivery . Really in a league all on its own , and clearly describing the controversial confused and one sided battle fathers have for justice over their children .

Musically this is sublime , possibly the only thing you might be wanting is a slide country pedal steel , but the Knopfler lead fills more than compensate . One impressive part of this are those harmonies , brilliant , and when combined with this chord structure that isn't just a 4 chord on a cycle affair , it all ends up as this superb piece of work .

Lawrence , take a bow , this is Fantastic !!!!!!!! :yourock: you really do !

I really like this!!:yourock: It is a refreshing change.I like the lyrics,the guitar work and the general vibe!A bit like a country pogues!
Nice one:D

There's not much that I can add to wot Arty has said.
I don't know your personal background but I'm really hoping that those lyrics come from your talents as a proven quality lyricist and not real life experience.
Unfinished or not, this is the best song I've heard on here!
Your voice reminds me of the singer from The Levellers in parts. (hope that doesn't offend)

You are an amazing talent!:thumb:

Thanks guys.

The character in the song is fictional. I read an article a while back about "McDonald's Fathers" - as in divorced fathers that get one day a week with their kids and they are reduced to spend quality time with their own children in an atmosphere that ends up being a football match or a meal in a fast food restaurant.

The character in this song is borne of a countless rewrites (lyric wise.) He is a weak man to be honest but he is atypical of the Fathers 4 Justice victim. He can see his daughter drifting away but doesn't know quite how to "be there" for her and he is embittered because he has been screwed over.

And that is what I tried to convey ... he feels like his hands are tied. Not because his wife moved on but by the system that supports the mother in these cases. In short - he is angry and helpless.

I just hope it doesn't come over as a sexist rant - that really was my biggest fear with this one.

Many thanks for the listens. It does mean a great deal.

I'm really hoping that those lyrics come from your talents as a proven quality lyricist and not real life experience.

You are an amazing talent!:thumb:

Well, let me tell you....there is probably a no more talented lyricist, or tunesmith in general, on these boards, as Lawrence!!! I am once again floored by your ability to convey in words and music such an atmosphere as you have here. Love the bouncy, almost country style vibe you have going here bro...... as you did with "She Know's" you are able to put a tough topic juxtaposed against an upbeat melody, making it stand out so much more than it would have otherwise!! Another fantastic writing and playing credit to you Lawrence....i just wish someone would find your talent, and get it out there to the masses, it deserves it!!! But for now, going straight to the "Goport" folder, then on to disc for daily listening.....Definite 5***** and Hall of Fame nomination!!!!:thumb: :bowdown:

I must admit, I have a Goport folder also. :thumb:
I am glad you are here Lawrence. You are very inspirational and truely gifted!
Learned a lot over the years hearing your music (and it truely is your own music). Musician is too weak of a word. :thumb: :thumb: Artist!!

I agree with all others here you are most definitely an artist. Such moving vocals and the music is great. You need a record deal mate, this was great.:bowdown:

I have many friends like this who have had to give up on their kids. I could def relate to this, very clever mate.

YES! Another goport original! And this one is an instant favourite. Gave me goosebumps on the first listen. I don't know what it is you do but you have some magic touch. Also your "drafts" and "demos" are usually the stuff I like most from you. I guess I like tunes with a bit of dirt here and there and some rough edges ;)

Goport! That was amazing man! Really nice vibe and great lryics. Awesome!

Johnny

you sexist bastard. just kidding. what makes it even more special is that it is true. i know i would not want to be in his situation and know a lot of people who are. excellent writing here and a fine performance. personally i don't see the need to change the leads but if you insist i will re-do them for you. just kidding. also if you do add the pedalsteel guitar you will have to lose the accent. you will have to learn to twang.

First of all, great singing, and great lyrics, and further more, great composition. Playing was awesome as well, no doubt, but being an "unfinished track" (as I´ve seen a couple here lately) I´m ona give my humild thoughts. Way too wet-hot mix (imho), I would really like to be able to rise the volume and not have to lower it to listen to all the nuances going on, and I can´t grab them in a clear listen.
As for the soloing, as I mentioned to Avalon about sticking in his vox instead of any others maybe better qualified for it, I think there can be no one but yourself for doing it as it´s your own thoughts over it. Ya did a great job, tho I think the last end-off thingie could be a bit slower paced, but hey, it´s YOU, and that´s what counts.

:thumb:Ah Porty goodies!
I love your tunes....
Thanks for this one!
Niels

Top Tune Porty man!:thumb:

Generally not stuff i'd listen to much as a genre overall(single minded or too evil?) but when i see a post from ya i know it'll be quality and quality it is!:yourock:

Really 'excellent' tune man overall and to be honest i didn't listen to the lyrics at all cause i never do..it's melody that does it for me and i care not for the story(sorry) so based on that,this tune is a keeper,and i also have a Goport folder along with many more mofo's from here! I could definitely hear the Pogues in this 1 too!

Quality man!:thumb:

wooah thanks for all the comments and plaudits. I am very grateful and honoured..

JPF - way too kind mate. I really just like writing for fun. It doesn't comes as easy as it used to because I am too critical of my own writing. I always try to get the lyric focused on the subject and don;t stop until I feel there read well on paper. This tune too - it started off as a reggae tune, then almost african calypso at one point (as in Graceland Paul Simon :)) - You really would not believe how many re-writes I did on this ...

3Fingers - Thanks. I am honoured and flattered by your remarks and don't have a hope in hell of living up to them :) But I am always grateful.

Macman - Thanks also mate. Seriously flattered by your praise. Glad the song touched a nerve too - that means I might have just got it right (by fluke of course lol!)

Naifuzan - You are always far too kind about my stuff. If this is an instant favourite then I am really honoured and you are right about the demos being a little more gritty - I actually like that in other peoples stuff. It seems a little more honest when it is less polished sometimes. Thanks again Per.

Bulletman - Thanks for listening and your comments. Its always amazing to get feedback on my stuff from a guitar biased website because I really am not that much of a guitarist. It shows just how open minded the community is here, which is fantastic! Many thanks.

Eamon - heheh I couldn't stop laughing at your post. Had me in stitches. I will bear the offer in mind and I will get practicing on my country accent right away. Many thanks for the praise and for cheering me up (when I really needed it!)

Uke... You are a top bloke tony. A proper critique and honest too which I am very grateful for. regarding the mix. I guess it is a bit hot in places but there is no clipping IIRC. And yes, the mix might be a little two dimensional I guess so I will have another play later and see if I can make it a little more open. By "Wet" do you mean reverb? I tend to force an analog filter or 2 on my mastering which I tend to favour. If you could explain or pm me in a bit more detail I would be most grateful. And the ending suggestion is interesting - I might have a play with that too. Many thanks tony :)

Naganom - Cheers also mate. I can picture Shane singing this now that you mention it. And don't worry about not listening to lyrics - we all get different things from music and thats the way it should be. Many thanks for the praise , that means a great deal coming from such an accomplished player as yourself.

There's not much that I can add to wot Arty has said.
I don't know your personal background but I'm really hoping that those lyrics come from your talents as a proven quality lyricist and not real life experience.
Unfinished or not, this is the best song I've heard on here!
Your voice reminds me of the singer from The Levellers in parts. (hope that doesn't offend)

You are an amazing talent!:thumb:

I forgot to say thanks to the remarks in your post unraveled. I am very honoured and embarrassed in equal measure that you think this is the best song you have heard on here. I don't really know what else to say except thank you very, very much. Thank you. :)

Definitely a SONG mate, with a story to tell and emotion to convey ... and boy ... you do it in truckloads alright!

Just goes to remind us metal-heads that a good performance is about more than how many notes we can play in a second, or which scale we used to best effect, or whether the 'tone' came from a Marshall or Soldano, or Fender twin or blackface patch on our digi-modellers.

Proves that all you REALLY need to make something memorable, is some raw all-round TALENT and production ability.

Your compositions always represent a pleasing breath of fresh air to me ... and yet, I don't look 'em up often enough. Maybe I should change that for the future, this time.

Thanks mate, really enjoyed it and the subject matter really came across, instead of being just something to tie the guitar solos together! ;)

Thanks Captain. One of the things I realised recently is song writing is hard work. Lyrics have become the most important aspect to me over the last year, so if the lyric sucks I end up scrapping the tune if it cannot be salvaged. I really appreciated your comment about it being more than something to tie the solos together because I spent 5 months writing the words.

I am not a great song writer or great anything. I do work very hard just to get something that is barely credible most of the time. If anything good comes out of what I do it is because I really have to work at it. I envy guys like you that can play anything you like - I struggle to play even the most simplest of riffs.

I stopped listening to this song for the longest while. Simply because the main character really ate away at me. Even though he is fictional I don't like him - he is far too happy to play the victim and tell people he had been fucked over by the system. As corny as it sounds I spent months thinking about how he would have reacted to his marriage breaking up. It actually got to me - I guess that is a reflection of my weaknesses in some ways. If I ever found myself in his situation - would this be how I would react? So it was a difficult song to write.

I am glad I have done it though. I may even send it to the Fathers 4 Justice website when it is finally finished.

Thanks for your reply - it meant a great deal to me.

Well I downloaded the file this time and listening while typing. I don´t know man, it seems like it has some sort of master limiter or whatever going on, the hi-hats sound a bit mushed, and the instruments too.... I remember that Nina Simone stuff ya kindly stuck both new drum sounds and bass playing, and it breathed... Another thing I have noticed is that you always record mp3s in 128 K/sec, man, bring it up to 192 or so, it really shows up, and it ain´t that heavy a file like it was just a couple years ago. Lowering down the levels, keeping them as clean as possible and panning a bit more all the tracks would be cool, those string arrangements sound beautiful, so did the vox man.....

Goport, this is the first tune ive listened to from you and from a whole musical perspective this is awesome. The lyrics are gold mate! and you have a Lennon-esque type vocal ( not sure whether anyone has picked this up before it maybe just my ears?) that fits pefectly. This is going into my file marked ' how good is this!!!'. The quality in this site just amazes me.:yourock: :yourock:

I envy guys like you that can play anything you like - I struggle to play even the most simplest of riffs.

Mate ... I appreciate the comment, I really do, but I can't play even HALF of what I want to ... I sat on my arse (figuratively speaking) just strumming a few chords and spitting out a few licks for a couple of hours a week ... for more than ten years, while my old mates like Wahwah and Lippy opened up the gap between us by keeping on improving while I stood still.

I know I can play what I DO play 'quite well' and with 'feeling', if that's what you want to call it ... but I ain't nowhere near as versatile as I should be if I wanted to call myself an all-rounder, or COULD have been if I'd applied myself more, or made the tough decisions earlier in my life.

Songwriting is a great talent, whether you have to work at it or not. It just makes it a more valuable commodity if you had to work hard because it cost you more - and then it DOES reward you more when people appreciate it and let you know so.

I stopped listening to this song for the longest while. Simply because the main character really ate away at me. Even though he is fictional I don't like him - he is far too happy to play the victim and tell people he had been fucked over by the system. As corny as it sounds I spent months thinking about how he would have reacted to his marriage breaking up. It actually got to me - I guess that is a reflection of my weaknesses in some ways. If I ever found myself in his situation - would this be how I would react? So it was a difficult song to write.

I am glad I have done it though. I may even send it to the Fathers 4 Justice website when it is finally finished.

Thanks for your reply - it meant a great deal to me.

Sometimes you DO have to put them aside for a while, to let both them and yourself mature enough to give the performance and care that they need. It shows just that, in how mature your work usually IS, even when it's still a work in progress that you give us a preview of and whether or not it's as polished as you'd like to to be. Rough 'n' ready has it's own charm too ... and sometimes that's how it should stay to illustrate the rawness of the subject (case in point).

So the character you created was starting to affect you and disturb you? To me, that's the sign of an ARTIST at work.

I think giving it to Fathers 4 Justice is a great idea btw :thumb:

Right on! 5 stars...

Loved the little jump from 'I dont know' to an appeggio guitar run...very nice

I think when listening to originals its a real eye opener in some cases, sometimes it not lol, i mean listening to this song gives me and others alittle insight into your musical thinking , as much as i love normal covers there is something special about ppls own works, you get to see what is there influences which drive there individual style.
I must admit i was suprised listening to this, ive listened to alot of your covers and originals but this was alot diffrent from what ive heard from you, it had a touch of country to it but not enough to push it into being a pure country song , your vocals kinda swung it back away from that direction and into your own .
The lyrics were excellent aswell as was the guitarwork and the mix of everything, as alot of ppl said it was a real joy to listen to:)
Thats the thing that gets me sometimes, you listen to afew ppls originals and it really dosen't differ from what they play on a daily basis from where there influences stem from, i think if your really passionate about writing your own stuff then you have to use the influences you have learnt but take it away from your usual playing/thoughts , if not you will sound just like you always do and your originals will sound the same as your influences if you get me.
Thats something which i love about this original is that you have done just that, personally to me it reminds me of nothing lol, thats not me being funny you know but that means i can apreciate that this is your work and i know by hearing it that it is :rock: :rock:
Fantastic work on this Lawrence, 5 stars for this :rock: :rock:

Thanks for the replies yet again!!

Uke - thanks for clearing that up - there is definately too much compression on the vocals for sure. The drums mix was mostly me dropping the velocities on all the cymbals. I also did a double pass on the mix down - vstis to wavs then wavs to MP3. this probably accounts for what you are hearing. I will work on it later. thanks for the input mate -its all useful and pleasing to me.

Stereophony - Thank you very much for the accolades. As for sounding like Lennon... I wish :) but I'll willingly take that comparison. Many thanks mate.

Captain - I thank you yet again for a lot of common sense put very well. It is rewarding to get feedback and it is especially rewarding when the intention of the lyric is received intact by the listener. You play a bit better than "quite well" though. Trust me, quite a damn site better :)

Paulscape - Thanks a lot for the listen and the comment :)

Bahamut - thanks for the reply and comments. This is probably a bit different because I had to consciously think about how I was going to be able to create the right environment for the lyric/story. I tried my usual approach and it just sounded too dated and contradictory to the subject matter.

I came up with the idea that dads are always larger than life characters to their children. Rather than use a superhero as fathers for justice have done on their protests I decided pick a more down to earth yet idealistic role for the father and came up with cowboy. That is where I got the idea for the country style music. The junkfood part of the title is a nod towards the tabloids nickname for a divorced father with limited access rights - the McDonalds Dad. Obviously, being a man, he can't cook (or so the stereotype goes) so when he gets the kids every other saturday he goes to McDonalds and pretends it is a treat to cover up his own shortcomings.

And that is really how the song finally came together. I pitched the dad and his daughter in McDonalds eating and not speaking. The father wants to maintain a bond with the girl but is finding it hard to maintain a relationship because she has another father figure in her life. So the song just catalogues what he wants to say but can't bring himself to. I am rabbiting on - you get the idea :)

Thanks again guys for the replies and kind words. It means a lot to me.

Ya know, some threads are pumped up with oos and aahhs about how the guitar soloing was, the mix, etc. I really hate it when people self prop their own stuff, but I´ve managed to know who is who, at least from this web stuff. If a song makes you think about life, and that is beyond the playing, well that´s it. And you deffinately acheived that here. Thoughts are easy to have, writing them are a bit more difficult, doing it in a song is the ultimate bud. Kuddos to that.

You are definately an inspiration to us all Lawrence.Another incredible song :hug:

What another great song Porty your truly a star mate :bowdown: :bowdown:

thank you all very much. It is great to get such good feedback and kind remarks. :yourock:

I can't believe this is free.... Incredible music and lyrics. Not much to add in the way of feedback. So I'll just say your music pretty much represents everything I miss about the music industry these days. Musically and lyrically. What a work of art! Thanks for posting this! :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:

heard an earlier draft/version of this one, and have to say that the vox reallly shine on this when things are a little more balanced mix-wise, really helps a lot since the lyrics and emotion are so important on this track - 5 stars bud :)

Having had a chance to hear an earlier draft myself, I can say that it was really a treat and I felt very honored to have had the chance. You are a great song writer whether it's hard work or not (but as well it should be hard work). If it were easy, everyone could be doing it. Because you do have this exceptional writing talent is why it was such a treat to hear an earlier take on it. To see the process or a stage of it, really helps those of us who aspire to write our own original material as well. Certainly many of us would love to be a fly on the wall to our favorite artists/writers and will probably never get the chance. Nor our 2nd fav's, 3rd and so on... So aside, from being a talented song writer and musician... What I really love about the "Goport Experience" is that when you put these threads up, you share so much of what goes into their creation, from the story to recording technique, to building the riffs and bass lines. You don't have any problem putting this stuff out there, which I can only speak for myself... is invaluable information for anyone who's trying to get there themselves. It's not often that you can get an inside line at this level, which I truly consider pro whether you're getting paid yet or not. So aside from talent in writing and musicianship... you're one hell of a likable guy!!! And really, we've all seen how that can often be the only thing you need to have a career. So the point being... do more to get yourself heard. Please! I put you on the top of the list of people who deserve it most.

The song is excellent... and I have to really listen to each line of the lyrics a few more times closely before I could comment on your "character", but in the first few listens it's one of the most compelling aspects of the piece.

Wow, that was brilliant. The vocal harmonies are really impressive as is the overall melody. It's a keeper for me Lawrence. Top shelf. :thumb:

Just checked this back..Thx for that nice comment Porty but i tend to disagree with it,although i'll still lap it up:D

Think that whole thing works both ways here:thumb:

Another amazing tune, Goport! Really high quality creativity, performance on the guitars and production/mixing. Excellent word choices in your lyrics and an interesting subject matter that I don't often think about (but then again, I rarely think about the dreary life of a slaughter-house Butcher, the neuroses of a girl who purposely cuts herself, or the passivity of a dark room stalker-type!). The content of your lyrics is always an interesting topic, although a bit bit dark (I don't envision you sitting down to write many songs like "Shiny, Happy People" or "Don't Worry, Be Happy" ;) ). But I prefer the reality of darkness in the world, rather than the delusion of eternal happiness. ANyway, I'm not going to tell you that you need to get your stuff out there for the masses to hear, as I know you don't really believe any of us, :toothless: so I will save my typing strength for now. But I've enough energy to give you 5 stars and a simulated Nomination! :rock:

...oh, and I definitely have the strength left to save this gem to my ever-expanding Goport Folder!

5 stars man killer stuff

Porty is proof that record companies don't know what they're doing. Here's his stuff posted for free, when he could be making them rich:)

Another instant classic Lawrence. The lyrics really hit home. I have a few friends going through this and it sickens me how the man has to fight to proove he's a good father, and with the mother it's assumed. How you use such sad lyrics with happy sounding tunes amazes me reallly.

How you use such sad lyrics with happy sounding tunes amazes me reallly.He's spent a lot of time listening to The Smiths! :)

So many cool replies and kind words. You all have my deepest gratitude and thanks. :yourock:

KC - I never really thought of my stuff as morbid/sad but seeing it spelled out like that shows it for what it is :) Subject matter is always difficult to manage if I am honest. Most songs I write do not have a subject at the beginning - I play around singing random phrases until one or two seem right for the song. Then I try and build a story around it. Once their seems to be a theme worth following I focus the lyric on that and build the song. More often than not the subject is sombre because it just seems to happen that way. So yeah - I probably got that from the smiths :)

Thanks again everybody!!!:)